Even when you are really good at what you do, keep a change window open to avoid becoming too predictable.
You know what predictability in the bedroom signals: boredom.
What you did and how you did it ten
years ago may have set that honeymoon suite on fire back then and for
the years that followed, but don’t become too comfortable with your
game.
It can become like a good joke that has
seen the same stage too many times. Just because they laughed till they
cried when you first cracked it, don’t be too disappointed when the next
time you try, they even complete the sentences for you.
Or, haven’t you encountered the toddler
who, having enjoyed a game of tickle-bump-tickle with you one evening,
is eager for “let’s do it again, auntie” every evening after that, not
knowing that the thrill of that was for just that moment (move on
already, kiddo)?
Good but unvaried lovemaking can quickly
become that way too. Like a repeated meal of matooke and beef year in,
year out, that soon loses its essence and specialty. Yet when you
punctuate it with the occasional frittata, the matooke’s specialness
goes to an even higher level.
While some people battle sexual
dysfunctions, others battle this being one-sided and too predictable in
bed. Not a bad thing in the sense of the word, but just dangerous to a
marriage. Seek to discover new ways to you.
If the tantric sex works magic for your
marriage, then good; just don’t ruin its specialness by making it the
daily bread. You can punctuate things with a little spontaneity here, a
quickie there, a planned make-out there.
Don’t be associated with just one way of
romance. Even when there are no complaints yet, don’t give boredom a
chance. Don’t allow yourself to be predictable in sex; those are the
cases where one of the spouses is perplexed as to why their mate could
possibly cheat yet orgasms and the pink elephants are regular visitors
in their bedroom.
The answer may be standard: “It is not you hon’; it is me.”
Listen to your body more and don’t allow
to be grounded in just one way, or position, of doing things. A
marriage is a partnership for the long haul – well, at least it should
be – so, make yours an enjoyable stay.
Just like you don’t let your dining
table become associated with “the usual”, don’t let even your bed sheets
know what you are about to do next. It may be time for you to
reciprocate some of the special favours your wife usually does for you
as a matter of duty in the bedroom.
You may consider throwing in an
incentive to making love with you, by coming off your male chauvinist
horse once in a while to do things like breakfast in bed for her, as
opposed to it being her daily duty to make your tea and biscuits ready
before work.
Wives, thank goodness there are massage
parlours all over the place now. Go get some tips and come back home to
participate in foreplay. You know many wives I have sounded out feel
foreplay is their husbands’ thing to deliver, and theirs to consume. No.
You too can bring the swagg during that part of business.
Give him a massage, challenge yourself
with things that would raise his brow in pleasant surprise. It cannot be
the usual wham-bang-we-are-done-where-are-the-cleaning-towels kind of
sex, year in year out. Monotony and boredom will be inevitable in that
case.
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